GhostCMO
Your supernatural edge

Powerful stories win.
Start yours here.
About
WHAT THE HELL IS A GHOSTCMO?
You know what a ghostwriter is. You know what a CMO is.* It's that, smushed into one.

If your organization doesn't have a marketing department, or that marketing department is overwhelmed, we're here to step in and get projects moving—from large-scale strategic shifts, to basic campaigns.

And while we're definitely not shy ourselves, we believe that the best branding is largely invisible. Communicators should embed their messages in their audience's subconscious as immutable truths—not just bombard their senses with pithy slogans. When executed well, the whole process can feel almost spiritual. And when done poorly... well, how do you feel watching the MyPillow guy?


*jokes aside, we mean Chief Marketing Officer
WORDS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT
We've all seen them. Ads, posts, brochures, scripts, websites—words so dull and clichéd they pull your eyes out of focus.

"You've got my attention, why are you wasting it!" you scream internally.

But alas, you're all alone—marooned on Blah Island—population: you, and your tragic block of text. It didn't need to be this way.

At GhostCMO, we don't waste time or data ink droning on. We cut to the point—strategically and painlessly—to beam the truth of your message directly into the hearts and minds of your audience, and make a genuine impact.
TAKING STALK OF YOUR STRATEGY. IN A CREEPY WAY
Whether you like it or not, every touchpoint, every interaction, every mention—establishes, frames, and shapes your brand out in the world.

If you're comfortable entrusting all that to a jack-of-all-trades, an overworked marketing manager, or an external team that doesn't get your business—we'll be praying for you.

But if you're looking for obsession—for a partner who will immerse themselves to an uncomfortable extent—that's where we come in.
KEEPING OUR HANDS DIRTY
We love our clients, but they're not perfect—that's why they need us! Could your filing system be better? Probably! Is your data scattered over dozens of separate documents, spreadsheets, and presentations? Honestly, it'd be weird if it weren't. But that glorious mess is where we thrive.

From highly regulated industries like healthcare, pharma, and med-tech; to consulting, recruiting, nonprofits and many more—we put in the time and energy to fully absorb your brand—and whip it into shape.
WE'RE NOT AFRAID OF THE DARK
If you want safe, boring copy—we're not for you.
If your competitive strategy amounts to imitating the market leader—we're not for you.
If you think copy is a commodity—we invite you to have an intern do it.

But—

If you want to stick out, and for the right reasons—
If you believe that, to be heard, you must first be noticed—
If you're here to make some sweet business omelettes, and aren't afraid to crack a few shells on the way…

We invite you to get in touch.
What we do
Naming
Your brand by any other name wouldn't sell as sweet. Tweaks to communication can polish up a variety of turds—but the stench of a weak, clichéd, or misleading name is hard to ignore.
Branding
You have a brand already—but can you express it with ease? Can your customers? Whether it's a quick refresh or complete overhaul, we'll help you keep it tight.

Positioning
Who are you, who are you talking to, what do you bring to the table, and who are you trying to beat? You can proceed without answers to these if you like, but it's gonna be messy.
Messaging
Before you say anything, you have to organize your thoughts. We help you with the stuff that lives behind the copy—that touches the soul of your brand, and resonates with your audience.
Copywriting
It's one of those things that everybody thinks they can do until they sit down and try. Writing—like any craft—is a weird amalgamation of talent, grit, and fairy dust. And we've got all three.
Executive communication
Speeches, talking points, social posts, email—your leaders' words can be an enormous asset, or a profound liability. We take some of that burden off your shoulders, for when it needs to sound just right.

Think of us as a helpful medium

channeling your truth to the world

in ways that seem supernatural.


Let us be your Whoopi Goldberg.

Some brands we've worked with
Some people who like us
"Since working with Josh, we've seen growth in donations, largely due to his moving writing and understanding of our target market. I highly recommend working with him, whether you're a small business or a large company."
Meytal Stancek
Global Publications Manager, Vision for Israel
"Josh has a razor sharp wit, a good heart, and is able to see many layers of a situation fast to pick out potential opportunities and problems. A true asset to any creative project and an absolute delight to work with."
Kiera Tsenti
Co-founder of Hire Write Talent
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Behind the veil
Josh Cramer
Owner / Consultant, Verbal Strategy

Long-time purveyor of puns and senpai of strategy, Josh hails from a background that includes agency branding & copywriting, banking, cognitive training, and custom footwear sales.

When he's not tuning up brands or shitposting about business, Josh writes far more depressing things in his journal and sets them to music. You may catch him at an open mic around the Twin Cities, or biking too fast on our fabulous backroads and trails.
Gabby Vanden Avond
Copywriter

With a background in both comedy and copywriting, Gabby works with several national and international clients in a variety of fields.

When she's not spinning sick sentences for the business world, Gabby runs a sketch comedy group called Ladybrain, which recently won a Golden Lanyard Award from the Minnesota Fringe Festival. She also won a Distinguished Artist Award from the Walker Art Center for her work with the group, as well as a separate web series.
Made on
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